(updated 7/19/2010)

A small collection of riddles...


Q: How do you catch a school of fish?

(highlight white-on-white text below for the answer - convenient way to hide secretive text)

A:With a bookworm!

Q: Why does a bee have sticky hair?

A: Because it uses a honey comb!

Q: What's small, red, furry and knocks you over?

A: Tackle-me-elmo!

Q: What do you call a sheep covered with chocolate?

A: A Hershey Baaaaaaaaa!

Q: What do you call a fairy who never takes a bath?

A: Stinkerbell!

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

A: Because it didn't have any guts!

Q: What has more lives than a cat?

A: A frog, it croaks every night!

Q: How deep is the water in a frog pond?

A: Kneedeep, kneedeep, kneedeep!

Q: What has four legs but can't walk?

A: A table!

Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?

A: To get to the Shell station!

Q: What did the ground say to the earthquake?

A: You crack me up!

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?

A: Milk and quackers!

Q: Why did the elephant eat the candle?

A: He wanted a light snack!

Q: Why is the letter "G" scary?

A: It turns a host into a ghost.

Q: What has 4 eyes but no face?

A: Mississippi!

Q: What did the spider do on the computer?

A: Made a website!

Q: What letters are not in the alphabet?

A: The ones in the mail, of course!

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?

A: Because 789!

Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

A: Because it felt crummy.

Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?

A: Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!

Q: What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

A: A little horse.

Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours?

A: Nacho Cheese.

Q: Why did the sheep say "moo"?

A: It was learning a new language!

Q: What streets do ghosts haunt?

A: Dead ends!

Q: What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer?

A: The Space bar!

Q: What exam do young witches have to pass?

A: A spell-ing test!

Q: Why did the boy eat his homework?

A: Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Q: Why is Basketball such a messy sport?

A: Because you dribble on the floor!

Q: Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To get to the other side!

Q: Why did the monster cross the road?

A: To eat the chicken!

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

A: It was the chicken's day off!

Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A: A brick layer!

Q: if a rooster lays an egg on the middle of a slanted roof, on which side will it fall?

A: Neither side. Roosters don't lay eggs!

Q: What did the sick chicken say?

A: "I have the people-pox!"

Q: Who tells the best chicken jokes?

A: Comedi-HENS!

Q: What figure is like a lost parrot ?

A: A polygon!

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?

A: A bird that talks your ear off!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot?

A: A carrot!

Q: Why was the chicken afraid of the chicken?

A: Because he was chicken!

Q: Daughter: Mum, can I have a canary for Christmas?

A: Mum: NO! You'll have turkey like everyone else!

Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?

A: Because they forgot the words!

Q: What do you get if you cross a canary and a 50-foot long snake?

A: A sing-a-long!

Q: Where does a 500 pound canary sit?

A: Anywhere it wants!

Q: How do you get down off an elephant?

A: You don't, you get down off a duck!

Q: How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend ?

A: In a HEN-velope!

Q: What does a duck like to eat with soup?

A: Quackers!

Q: Why did the owl say, "Tweet, tweet."?

A: Because she didn't give a hoot!

Q: What books did the owl like?

A: Hoot-dunits!

Q: What is a chick after she's 6 days old?

A: Seven days old!

Q: Why does a flamingo stand on one leg?

A: Because if he lifted that leg off the ground he would fall down!

Q: Where does a peacock go when it loses its tail?

A: A re-tail store!

Q: What's yellow, weighs 1,000 pounds, and sings?

A: Two 500 pound canaries!

Q: Which side of a parrot has the prettiest feathers ?

A: The outside!

Q: What do you give a sick bird?

A: Tweetment!

Q: What did the 500 pound canary say?

A: Here Kitty, Kitty!

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?

A: Because it's too far to walk!

Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea?

A: Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels!

Q: What happens when a duck flies upside down?

A: It quacks up!

Q: What did the duck say after he went shopping?

A: "Put it on my bill!"

Q: Which animal grows down?

A: A duck!

Q: What's the difference between a duck with one wing and a duck with two wings?

A: Why, that's a difference of a pinion!

Q: Did you hear the story about the peacock?

A: No, but I heard it's a beautiful tale (tail)!

Q: What kind of bird can carry the most weight?

A: The crane!

Q: What's noisier than a whooping crane?

A: A trumpeting swan!

Q: Why do hens lay eggs?

A: If they dropped them, they'd break!

Q: What bird is with you at every meal?

A: A swallow!

Robert: Did you hear the joke about the broken egg?

Audrey: Yes, it cracked me up!

Q: What's smarter than a talking parrot?

A: A spelling bee!

Q: How do chickens bake a cake?

A: From scratch!

Q: Why can't a rooster ever get rich?

A: Because he works for chicken feed!

Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?

A: A box of quackers!

Q: What key won't open any door?

A: A turkey!

Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cow?

A: Roost beef!

Q: What bird is always sad?

A: The blue jay!

Q: Why did the chicken go to the seance?

A: To get to the other side!


Silly boy: I'd like to buy some bird seed.

Clerk: How many birds do you have?

Silly boy: None! I want to grow some!


Silly girl: Why does your son say, "Cluck, cluck, cluck".

Mrs. Poulet: Because he thinks he's a chicken.

Silly girl: Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?

Mrs. Poulet: Because we need the eggs.


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